The Chemistry Factor
Some women (like me) are not convinced that the overwhelming “chemistry” factor has to be there right from the get go. Some of us are happy to just be with a pleasant, smart attentive man and let it develop.
Here’s the problem: how does a woman continue to date a guy, learn about him, enjoy his company, get more comfortable with him, and allow the chemistry to build without giving him the feeling that she is using him for dinner, movies, etc? Should we go “dutch?” And, without “putting out,” how long will a man allow a woman the luxury of getting to know him better?
We all know that men and women can have different timetables for getting intimate. And men can (and do in most cases) get intimate before having real feelings for a women. How do we do this without one or the other feeling guilty, or impatient, or used or anxious?
Someone once told me, “you’ll know” when it’s the right time with the right one. Well… I was married 37 years, separated 5 and I am still waiting for that proverbial light bulb to go off so I will “know.” I know about chemistry – but that isn’t all I want — I want a relationship that has chemistry as a part of it. I don’t think one without the other is for me. Am I alone in feeling confused about how to proceed with this? If an honest discussion is what it takes, wouldn’t a man take it as a sign that the woman isn’t really turned on by him, and feel deflated? AAAAGGGGHHHH! I hate dating! I want to go to sleep and wake up with Mr. Right next to me and all the foolishness of dating past us! Is that too much to ask?
I welcome your comments and feelings about this subject.
This Post was written by Lorraine W.
